When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro
-Hunter S.Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
The other day I taught the Dudul Dorje’s White Tara. Which, as those of you who’ve taken it know, it’s more complex than usual. Lama Josh suggested talking about overly complex practices following our discussion.
Which is a great idea.
What do we do when something is too complex?
First, let’s define too complex; for this brief essay, I would say that too complex means anything which, even if you pay your full attention to it, does not flow. It’s a choreography, it’s a tax-return process, but whatever it is, it leaves you drained, and you feel unsatisfied at the end.
I know that practice can feel this way. My tantric Sadhana practice began with a background of Shamanism, so I had some visualization and ritual experience.
Still, I was unprepared for the degree of visualization required. Visualize yourself as the deity? Ok. Focus on the implements of the deity…ok, I can do that. But keep visualizing a root letter, surrounded by a chain of other letters and activities…all at the same time?
Forget about it.
The experience of being overwhelmed is very frustrating.
For me, the nearest experience was of learning to drive. How do you learn to drive? In two parts.
Part one: a person kindly teaches you the sequence, how to start the car, how to take turns, how not to stall it, what to do in each turn, etc. They break it down and you put it together. This is the Guru and the Kula.
Part two: You gain experience driving. Perhaps, at the beginning, it’s an empty street at night. Later, you drive at day. Eventually, you progress to the busy highways and rush hours. This is the practice itself.
At no moment you feel it as dull. It is a challenge.
It requires every bit of attention, and you feel drained afterwards.
But you don’t quit.
And eventually, you can drive in the busiest place in the world, holding a conversation and listening to music and all you feel is bored.
What’s the difference with hard practice?
That you can see everyone doing. If I hadn’t seen people driving all around me, I probably wouldn’t have thought it possible on the first lessons that I could do it. It seemed too much.
I felt the same when someone told me to visualize a 100-syllable mantra.
That’s when the Guru is key, and the Kula is the lock. By learning from the Guru and seeing how the Kula could achieve the thing you want to achieve, you gain the confidence that it is possible.
It is difficult? Yes.
Does it require practice? Yes.
Can YOU achieve it? Oh, yes!
This is just how it is; you learn it, piece by piece. You see and talk to other people who have done it. Then, you practice. Slowly at first. But seek boredom; boredom means that you have become so accustomed to the practice that it can go on and on automatically. This is what we want: that the mantra cannot be turned off or even on, that it’s just a part of your mind.
Once you have that, you can start working on the activities, which is the point of the practice.
But one part at a time.
Do not lose heart.
You have a clan of practitioners to help you.
Just take it one day at a time.
Hope this helps!
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